Last week President Trump decided to try out his new toys by launching a strike at Syria to show Assad that he’s the boss. This week, Syria’s already fixed the holes in the runway, presumably using some kind of secret military technology that is unavailable to the pothole division at my local council. The problem with the Syrian conflict is that it’s essentially the Assad Regime vs ISIS so if you want to do anything, it means you really have to state which of those two sides you support. It’s as if you’re a bouncer backstage in the green room and a fight breaks out between Bill Cosby and Justin Bieber and you think you should probably step in. Except that actually, you’re not a bouncer, you’re a the hot-tempered owner of the largest army in the world and Russia’s piling billions of dollars of military hardware into that fight in a place where the ground is quite literally made of petrol because it’s the Middle East. And that scenario is ludicrous anyway, Bill Cosby can’t get a television gig these days for love nor money.

While this was happening, there yet another 2 terror attacks, in Sweden and Germany. And the US is, as we speak, manoeuvring an aircraft carrier towards North Korea so that should end well. North Korea is of course the place where socialism grows but nothing comes out apart from tales of human misery. Very much like a dinner party at Ed Miliband’s house I suppose.

Where then in all of this is that Beacon – that guiding light – of liberal democracy, the British Parliament? Well, right now it’s on recess for Easter and I’m sure the cabinet are all observing that religious moment of thought by getting stuck into some chocolate and gorging themselves. How very Christian.